I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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