Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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