just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize