So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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