So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
