it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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