So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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