If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
