Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
