He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
