Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
