You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
