My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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