No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
