its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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