I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
