i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
