So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
