After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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