fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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