Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
birth control should be required to get into college
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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