The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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