WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
