My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
