Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
