it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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