I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize