Who did Billy Mays play for?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
