dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize