You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
