after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
