i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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