Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
