But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
