when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Say something about gay babies.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
