Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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