were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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