Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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