I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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