The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Come share oat with me in your robe
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
