Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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