They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
