I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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