I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
