I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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