i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
