He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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