Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Im part way to drunk.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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