She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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