David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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