this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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