I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
