My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
