I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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