Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
