Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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