Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
