I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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