Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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