He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
