Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize