Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
