Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Oh god it's open bar.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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