kristin has been a bad kristin
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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