Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
