i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
