I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
