I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
